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Ministers' Wives Hurt, Too


The Minister’s Wife Hurts, Too!
by Lynda Allison Doty

There she goes, the minister’s wife. She’s everywhere. She is at the mall, the supermarket, the PTA… in line at the pet store, at the piano, in the prayer room. She is many things to many people, ever in demand. Always happy, living above her God-ordained problems—that perfect lady with the perfect Apostolic smile. And yet…and yet… deep down inside, she can be a very lonely person.  One who hurts but feels she cannot let it show.  Not always because of pride, either, but out of a desire to help lift others up, to set a good example. I have seen it so many times—indeed, experienced it myself—alone among the roses.

I understand what it is to hurt, to feel left out. I know the pain of betrayal, the intense longing to stop the hurting now! I understand how the pain of physical death can often seem better than the pain of the heart. How easy it is to run to the counselors for relief. The way of the Cross is not the easy way, but it is the way of Jesus. It is the way that will bring us to Him, that will bring us to spiritual growth, where we reach a new and deeper level with God Himself. Dear one, please do not take the easier road. Learn to walk the road of Calvary with the Savior.

We can look to Jesus to see how we should handle our cross: by embracing it. We learn from the Gethsemane experience that Jesus was not some masochist who wanted to suffer, but we, like Him, must have our own Gethsemane and relinquish our will to His. Only when we have given up our will and embraced His—no matter how painful—will we be able to allow the Cross to do its full work in us so we can come forth with new life.   

Paul talked to us about his own personal pain, but he did not leave us with just that. He tells us also how he responds to it. He gives us the secret, the key:  “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” (II Corinthians 12:10) 

The Word of God

The Word of God is one of the most powerful tools we will ever have, and yet we too often take our Bibles for granted. Get into the Word of God. I am not talking here about dispensing a Bible verse for a broken heart. God understands our pain and goes much further in the gift of His Word to us. He would have us come to an intimate and saving knowledge of Him. He would have us find healing and deliverance through His Word. How does His Word heal and deliver? It is not a magical formula, but a very real, deep and lasting balm.

As an illustration, think of how milk of magnesia coats the stomach; that is how His Word coats the soul. I personally think “milk of mag” is some of the nastiest stuff I’ve ever tasted, but if it will make me well, I will gladly swallow it. That is how we should strive to have God’s Word inside of us—His healing balm seeping into every nook and cranny of our souls.

We can trust our God.  We can believe what He says. If it is in His Word, believe it.  My husband talks about that little bumper sticker that he can’t stand—you know the one that reads, God said it, I believe it, that settles it.  Brother Doty says, Hogwash.  God said it, that settles it.  Period.  It doesn’t matter if we believe it or not!

We need to train ourselves to believe the Word of God. His Word will heal.  Psalm 107:20 promises, “He sent His word and healed them and delivered them from their destructions.”  Before coming to God in this beautiful truth, my life was so destructive. I was like a ticking time bomb, just waiting to explode.  God delivered me from all of that.  He filled me with His Holy Ghost when I didn’t even know what the Holy Ghost was. 

II Timothy 3:16-17 tells us: “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.” All scripture means just that. Every word, jot and tittle that is in the Word of God.  Old and New testaments. Epistles, proverbs, psalms, history, and prophecy. All of it is given to us for a purpose. “Inspiration of God” means “God-breathed,” or that it came from the mind of God. If we want to get to know God, we must read those words that proceeded from His mind and heart. He longs to have fellowship with us. Matthew Henry says it well: “It [the Word of God] is profitable for all purposes of the Christian life. It is of use to all, for all need to be taught, corrected, and reproved. There is something in the Scriptures suitable for every case. Oh that we may love our Bibles more, and keep closer to them! Then shall we find benefit, and at last gain the happiness therein promised by faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, who is the main subject of both Testaments.”

No longer allow yourself to be intimated or made to feel less than you are. Don’t feel that you are not as good as your sister in the neighboring town just because they might have a larger church. You are the one for this hour! You have a God-ordained purpose that no one else can fill.

My challenge to you today is to rise up quickly and let the chains fall from your hands (Acts 12:7). Step forth in the confidence of the Lord. For He has called you out of darkness and into light, and He always equips the called. Be sure of the Lord. Be sure of your calling. Take up the sword, which is the Word of God, and step out on faith. And when you do, you will know that He is meeting you, and working with you, and anointing you to do what He has sent you to do.